Gratitude has been showing up quietly for me lately. Not as some big, performative list. Not as something I feel like I should be doing. Just something that’s there when I slow down enough to notice it.

Today, it’s the simple things.

Clothes on my back. A roof over my head. Food in the fridge. Clean water. The kind of things that are easy to overlook when life feels busy or heavy, but are anything but small when I really sit with them.

And then there’s my family.

My daughters, who somehow grew into these incredible women while I was busy just trying to keep up with life. Megan, with her whole world of animals and energy around her. Emily, who I probably don’t tell often enough how proud I am of her. A nurse at SickKids, showing up for others every day, while also being an amazing mom to my grandson. Watching that from where I stand now… there’s a lot of gratitude in that.

I’m grateful for reconnecting with my brother after years apart. There’s something about finding your way back to someone who knew you long before you knew yourself. That kind of connection doesn’t need to be loud to matter.

My sister too. Strong in ways she probably doesn’t fully see. The kind of strength that influences people quietly, without needing recognition. I see it though. And I’m grateful for it.

I’m grateful for the handful of people who keep showing up as my friends, even when I’m not always great at returning the effort. They don’t make a big deal about it. They just stay. That kind of consistency means more than I probably say out loud.

I’m also grateful for the little furballs who inhabit my world. Although I’m a dog person at heart, the cat distribution system decided I should be a cat dad for a bit. And I am grateful they’re a part of my world with their antics.

Then there’s the community I never expected to find. Other CSA survivors. The level of honesty, support, and understanding there is something I don’t take for granted. To be part of it, and to be able to contribute in some small way, is something I carry a lot of gratitude for.

I’m also grateful for the work I get to do. Years ago I consciously developed skills that would allow me to be marketable well into my retirement. The talents I developed allow me to provide, to build something, to support my family. That didn’t always feel certain. It does today.

It’s funny, because if you had asked me years ago what gratitude looked like, I would have put sobriety at the top of the list. And don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for it. But it’s not something I think about the same way anymore. Not drinking isn’t something I manage day to day. It’s just… who I am now. It’s wired in.

The same goes for the idea of God. That’s changed a lot over the years. What I understood back then isn’t what I understand now. And that’s a conversation for another day.

Today, it’s simpler than that.

Today, I’m noticing what’s already here.

And realizing that, for now at least, it’s enough.